You are afraid to be the one that you already are. Your familiarity to who you think you are has you locked in fear from letting go and surrendering what you believe yourself to be - even though it serves up a consistency of pain and suffering. You live in fear of your self, your heart, when you are not being who you are already.
Who you are is sheer freedom. Freedom from who you are not - who you think you are. What a freedom this is and you fear it - because of who you think you are. What a vicious wee circle that is going on here. *chuckling*. Fortunately, who you think you are has no affect whatsoever on who you are. Self, the heart, simply outshines all of its "arisings." Who you think you are cannot replace who you are - ever. You can do something about being who you are but it is unlikely that you will do so. Why? Because who you think you are has such a hold over you that you will not let it go to do what it takes to be who you already are.
For the same reason that you are not living your unadulterated heart right now. You fear letting go of who you think you are. You fear being impersonal. You have many desires to fulfil - having failed to see how your desires have not delivered you of what you thought they would, you push for more. All the while, who you are - the heart, the self - is already here right now and you know it not. If you realized who you already are you would understand that there is nothing that manifestation can offer you because who you are is that from which manifestation arises.
Yes. That means you already are the totality from which what you are desiring is sustained by, and you know it not. You fear letting go of who you think you are because who you think you are tells you that you are a somebody, a someone, a separated person - you can be in control of your circumstance. To be who you are leaves you being a "no one," a nobody. This "nothing" that you are is everything. Who you are is immensely rich. Heart without obstruction is who you are. Peace is you.
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Letting Go
